


Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III and The Beanstalk

by electrairis



Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Supernatural, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Bandom - Freeform, Emo, Other, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 13:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4788506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electrairis/pseuds/electrairis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete is destined for great things, and climbs the beanstalk. Instead of receiving riches, he meets some unlikely characters and receives a prophecy from the god of Emo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III and The Beanstalk

**Author's Note:**

> idek what's happening in this.

Pete Wentz always knew he was destined for great things, and when a beanstalk grew really tall in his backyard, even taller than his best friend Gabe who was the tallest person he knew, he realised it was his time. He called out a quick goodbye to his mother, who in return asked where he was going. 

“Oh my gosh Mum! I’m going out! You can’t control me, you know my name, not my story!” Pete screamed.

Mrs Wentz sighed, turning around to watch her emo son run out the door. “Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, I birthed you! I know your story!” 

Pete was already in the garden, climbing up the thick green stalk, but Mrs Wentz swore she heard a scream rip from his throat. 

Pete climbed for hours, and when he reached the top it was all white. White clouds, white furniture, and a white guy standing there, waiting for him. He looked like Mikey’s brother, Gerard, the pale lesbian.

“I am Geesus, and you are under arrest,” the vampire man said, hauling Pete to his feet. 

“Um Gerard-“

“IT’S GEESUS!” Gerard screamed, immediately there was a commotion from behind the big white gates that he was lounging in front. 

“Pete! You’ve awoken the emo’s!” 

“But you screamed!” Pete exclaimed.

“No, that’s why you’re under arrest, did you realise what you were climbing on?”

Pete looked down at the beanstalk in confusion, then the realisation hit him. “Oh my, I’ve climbed on the spirit on Tyler Joseph, the smol bean!”

Geesus nodded. “Yes, the emo’s don’t like that.”

“But this is a tol bean, Geesus,” Pete said.

“No, it’s a tall bean.”

“Same thing, right?”

“No.”

Pete low key wanted to go home right about now.

Geesus opened his mouth to say something, but stopped when he saw three unnaturally tall men approaching. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the awesome foursome.”  
Pete spun around, and looked up a significant height, to see their faces.

“This is Gabriel, Jarediel, and Dalloniel.” 

“Gabe?” Pete asked, looking at his best friend.

“No, I’m the angel Gabriel, sent by the god of Emo to protect you.”

“Aren’t you Jared Padalecki?” Pete asked the moose man. “You’re not even emo.”

Jarediel flipped his hair, “Have you ever seen an episode of Supernatural? It’s more emo than My Chemical Romances entire discography.”

Pete couldn’t protest.

“You’re Dallon Weekes, what are you doing here?”

Dalloniel sighed, “Gabriel and Jarediel made me an honorary member of the awesome foursome”

“He’s one centimetre shorter than us, but it’s okay. He told us that Brendoniel isn’t actually 1.94 centimetres tall,” Gabriel added. 

“So I’m guessing that Brendoniel was the third member, who was the fourth?”

“That’s the thing, there is no fourth member, it’s a really funny joke that Brendoniel came up with before he betrayed us.”

Pete sighed. Angels were stupid. 

“So, why are you here?” Geesus asked the three.

“The god of Emo wants to talk to Pete,” Dalloniel said.

“But he’ll have to take the emo quiz right?”

“Right.” Gabriel agreed. 

Geesus sighed, grabbing a scroll from the back of his black skinny jeans. 

“Okay Pete, who is the best member of Panic! At The Disco?” 

“Who?”

“JUST SAY RYAN ROSS,” Jarediel whispered loudly.

“Uh, okay, Ryan Ross?”

There was a sudden flash of lightning, and the wailing of the emo’s turned into high pitched screams. Pete swore he heard one emo shout “RYDEN IS REAL!” Pete didn’t know what Ryden was, but if the emo’s shipped it, it had to be gay. 

“PETE WENTZ, I AM RYAN ROSS, THE GOD OF EMO, AND I HAVE TO LIKE DELIVER A PROPHECY TO YOU!” A booming voice said from the sky. 

Pete sighed, “Okay whatever, I’m meeting up with my girlfriend in an hour so you have to hurry up.”

“YOU WILL MEET PATRICK AND JOE,  
TOGETHER WITH ANDY YOU MUST PUT ON A SHOW,  
AND THEN YOU MUST SIGN PANIC! AT THE DISCO,  
OR ELSE THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW EMO.”

“Seriously? Is that all?”

“Oh yeah, I have another one somewhere…” Ryan muttered. Everyone awkwardly waited whilst they heard shuffling from up above. 

“YOU ARE GAY,  
WITH MIKEY WAY,  
BREAK UP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND,  
OR HER NECK WILL BEND!”

Pete shook his head. This god of Emo wasn’t very good at prophecy.

“You should uh, take this very seriously Pete,” Ryan said from in the sky. 

“And why should I do that?” Pete asked.

“Because without Fall Out Boy, emo isn’t what it is in the future.”

The angels nodded solemnly, even Geesus and the emo’s quietened down.

“Good luck, Pete, wherever you Wentz, we will be watching.”


End file.
